So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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