Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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