I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
