She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
