hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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