I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
