Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
