I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Bring me that man meat
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know her cup size but not her name....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
