Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
