in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
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How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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