He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
