thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
