New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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