The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
