I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
