I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
this will be a night to untag.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
