Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
