How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
