it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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