someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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