She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
