Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
