remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
