remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
