My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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