i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need to calm my uterus...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
