i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
