he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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