put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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