I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize