and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
