she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
