Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
