just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
