I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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