i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
