I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
