My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
