i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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