There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
