it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
