my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize