He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
