I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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