I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
