The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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