I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
