I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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