Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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