going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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