it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
