explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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