I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
