She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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