so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
