I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
