Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You need Xanax blowdarts
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
