So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I understand Curling. That high.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
