You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
