Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
