my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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